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BUSH SPEAKS: "HOW DID WE EVER GET IN THIS MESS? WHERE HAVE I BEEN?"James S. Henry

Last night on national television, Comrade Bush presented his own miniature 14-minute "Cliff Notes" version of the roots of the current US financial crisis, and a heart-rending appeal for the most generous act to date of his Administration, the $700 billion blank-check Wall Street bailout. 

By now the man has established a bit of a pattern --  customarily trying to scare us all into granting him unlimited powers,  while arguing that there is simply no alternative to whatever bitter pill he happens to be pushing at the moment. 

You are of course free to believe him if you like. Hundreds do.

IMPROVEMENTS

In fact, as we argued yesterday, there are all sorts of improvements to be made to the proposed Whale of a Bailout package.   

These include things like, at a minimum, (1) equity investment and warrants for taxpayers, to provide some upside returns in proportion to the risks we are taking on any purchases of bank assets; (2) stronger oversight; (3) more assistance for the millions of Americans who are experiencing home foreclosures; (4) compensation ceilings, clawbacks, and stiff progressive tax rates on incomes over $1 million and estates over $10 million, to offset the cost of all this; (5) a Financial Products Safety Commission; (6) a new Treasury-backed competitive insurance market for mortgage securities,  available to banks and homeowners; (7) expanded FDIC reserve fund rather than buy "toxic" bank securities up now, set up an  -- since all the "I-banks" are commercial banks now, anyway; (8) a new installment of the 1932 Pecora Commission, complete with subpoena power, to investigate the origins of the crisis and hold people accountable.

(For more details, here is the testimony that Dr. Brent Blackwelder, Friends of the Earth, and I submitted to Rep. Frank's House Financial Services Committee yesterday: BAILOUT.pdf)

ALTERNATIVES

Even more important, the President's central claim that there is no alternative to this bitter pill is a triple whopper with cheese.    

As the IMF -- not our favorite institution, but it does know a thing or two about recapitalizing broken banking sectors --  has suggested just this week, long-term "swaps" of mortgage-backed securities for government bonds could be used to clean up the banks' balance sheets while completely sparing  taxpayers the risks of a huge loss on the $billions of toxic assets we'll soon be owning. 

There are also numerous other approaches  to broken-banking sector restructuring  that have been employed by governments all over the planet in more than 124 banking sector crises since 1970 -- for example, in Chile, Korea, Germany, Mexico, and  Japan.

Doesn't anyone else find it odd that none of this expertise is being put to use?

Or that, with losses on complex derivative and structured securities at the core of this debacle, and thousands of "quants" from MIT and Wharton on Wall Street, we cannot design some simple security vehicles to help taxpayers reduce their personal or collective exposure to its potential costs? 

Perhaps Bush & Co. are not familiar with the IMF or the World Bank/ IFC's "Capital Markets Group." Perhaps Secretary Paulson never bothered to understand the first thing about derivatives and options during his 32 years at Goldman Sachs.   

For their information, the World Bank/ IMF/ IFC  are located at 700 19th St. NW, Washington D.C., three blocks from the White House.

Their staffs are not especially busy at the moment -- indeed,  15 percent of the IMF's professionals are being laid off, so they may have some time to help out.

We've been assured by the Bush Administration, however, that the IMF's assistance is not really needed at this point.

"What are we," Bush asks,  "Some sort of two-bit corrupt, debt-ridden plutocracy  that can't manage its own affairs?"

STAMPEDE

Indeed, the President,  Secretary Paulson, and a weird new assortment of  bottom-feeding Wall Street investors  (Omaha's Warren Buffet, Tokyo's Nomura Holdings and Mitsubishi UJF), and, of course, those who are still left on Wall Street itself are in a white heat to get this deal done, and are trying to create a stampede. 

They are also clearly not interested in improving the bailout. They just want our money -- and a loosey-goosey, behind-closed-doors process for distributing it that hasn't even been designed yet.

Unlike US taxpayers, Buffet, who is reportedly investing $5 billion in Goldman Sachs, was saavy enough to get preferred shares and warrants for his money -- worth up to 8 percent of the premier bank's share.

At that rate, just think how much Wall Street real estate our  $700 billion would buy -- if only Paulson and Bernanke and the US Congress would follow in Buffet's footsteps and insist on some equity and warrants in exchange for a bailout. 

MCCAIN's MIGRAINEIs His VP Choice a "Natural," Or An Eagleton/Quayle Combo?James S. Henry and Matthew Maly

By law the US is required to have a Vice President. Do we really want it to be this one?  

Many serious countries with Presidential systems -- like Finland, Germany, France, Ireland,  and South Korea -- have long since dispensed with the role of Vice President completely.

In the wake of the uproar -- indeed, shock and awe -- provoked by John McCain's  surprising selection of 44-year old Gov. Sara Palin of Wasilla, Alaska, on top of all the hoopla over Barack Obama's dissing of Hillary Clinton and our collective nightmare with "Darth" Cheney, some pundits have  suggested that it may be time for the US to follow the Finnish model and have no US Vice President at all.

With each day's new revelations about Gov. Palin's complex personal life and rather extreme views, some pundits have also suggested that she may quickly go the way of former Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton, who lasted just two weeks as George McGovern's VP pick in 1972 -- or perhaps worse yet for the Republicans, a reprise of the legendary Indiana lightweight, Dan Quayle.

They are wrong.

Ms. Palin's nomination is a perfect demonstration of the incredible entertainment value that only the VP role can provide.

At a time when our economy is in serious trouble, state and federal budget deficits are out of control,  energy costs are unaffordable, the US Constitution is under attack, tax evasion is at a record level, we're still tied down in two major wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, tensions are mounting with Russia, social inequality is soaring, environmental calamities abound, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are about to fail, our education system is broken, the drug wars continue unabated, and millions of Americans lack jobs, decent housing and health care,  filling the VP slot with this more-or-less unknown quantity adds a nice soupçon of uncertainty to the entire situation.

It permits the whole nation to "double down" at once,  experiencing a kind of risk-taking that none of us would ever be able to achieve on our own.

This is precisely the kind of entertainment that government, at its best, is supposed to offer.

Indeed, Sara's selection is bound to make our peculiar "imperial electocracy"  the envy of the world -- once again!  

I. FINALLY A BABE!

Ms. Palin may not yet be a household name, but upon closer examination, her qualifications for the Vice Presidency --  just one bad biopsy away from the world's most powerful office -- are overwhelming.

First and foremost, just take a look -- this woman is a looker, a true MILF!

Carla Bruni, where is thy sting?  Angela Merkel, bite your knuckles!  

To paraphrase Joe Biden, Ms. Palin is an "articulate, bright, clean, good-looking" white woman.

And young! Why she was only 4 years old when 72-year old John McCain was bombing peasants from 30,000 feet, and 9 years old when he was released from the POW camp in 1973.

Indeed, Sara was first runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska beauty pageant, after being voted Wasilla Alaska's "Miss Congeniality."

True, back then,  Wasilla only had about 5000 residents. But so long as you were not a moose or an environmentalist,  Wasillans were the most congenial people on the planet. And Ms. Sara was the most "congenial" of them all.

Anyone who has ever attended public high school knows what that means - religion or no.

We think we can all trust "Bomber" McCain's judgment on this one.  John may have only met his VP choice two or three times,  but he is an expert on beauty queens.

His first wife Carol was a model  and  his second wife Cindy was Junior Rodeo Queen of Arizona in 1968. 

(Just in -- McCain has also  reportedly expressed interest in naming Sherri McNealley, the real winner of the 1984 Miss Alaska contest, as his future Secretary of State, but so far she's still MIA.

He's also expressed interest in appointing Wasilla's current mayor, Dianne M. Keller, to be his Attorney General, once she completes her law degree.)

In any case, unfortunately, this VP choice will probably not swing Hillary's disaffected female supporters to the McCain camp. Most of them are die-hard feminists who have serious issues with Palin's political views -- for example,  her opposition to abortion even in the case of rape or incest, and her unsympathetic description of Hillary Clinton as a "whiner."   (Where on earth would she get such an idea?)   

From a strictly male hormonal perspective, however, this may be the best VP selection in history -- precisely the kind of candidate we need to arouse our interest and get us up off the couch. After years of enduring so many talented but extraordinarily plain women in national politics (viz Senators Clinton, Hutchinson,  Mikulski, Boxer, and Feinstein, for example), -  finally the US Senate will be presided over by someone who still leaves something to the imagination.

II. SHE'S HYPER-PRODUCTIVE!

Sara Palin is a doer, not a talker.  Not only is she the Governor of Alaska, but she is a "hockey mom" with five children by birth (but no adopted ones, unlike the 72-year old McCain). These include an unmarried pregnant 17-year old, a son on the way to Iraq, and a 5-month old infant with Downs Syndrome. She hunts and fishes. She runs 5-10 miles a day.  She's under investigation by Alaska's State Ethics Commission for "using her public office to settle a private score." (Who could resist doing that?) 

When Sara was pregnant with her fifth child, her water broke while she was attending a Republican Governors' conference in Dallas, and she flew all the way back to a Wasilla Alaska hospital to have the child delivered at home.

That's precisely the kind of crazy, life-threatening behavior that we need much more of in the highest echelons of the US Government! Shock-Treatment Tom (Eagleton), we hardly knew ye!!!

Adding the burden of the US Vice Presidency to this full plate will no doubt give us a shining example of just how to precisely strike that delicate balance between family life, work life, and blind ambition -- as well as the many benefits of the "Just Say No" approach to birth control!

(c) Submerging Markets, 2008 

 

WEEKLY PUZZLER: "WHAT MADE GERALD R. FORD SO TRULY GREAT, ANYWAY?"James S. Henry

Some cynical pundits may have been surprised at the outpouring of grief associated with the passing of Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the US, who died of natural causes at the age of 93.

Ford had been an ex-President longer than than any one except Herbert Hoover, and had survived two assassination attempts. So some people may have just assumed that he was one of the handful of Yale Law graduates who are truly immortal, and were shocked to discover the truth. 

However, the pundits would be correct to point out that Ford was not high on the standard roster of reknowned US Presidents. 

To begin with, of course, he was never actually elected President. His Presidency was the product of our felicitous criminal justice system. He ascended to the Vice Presidency in 1973 by replacing one felon, and then to the Presidency in 1974 by agreeing to pardon another one.

There were also,  to be sure, relatively few truly memorable positive acts by President Gerald Ford -- and many of those are best forgotten, as we'll see below.

Despite these concerns, we believe that a very strong case can be made for the proposition that Gerald R. Ford was one of our finest -- if not the finest - recent Presidents. This is not so much because of what he did, as what he did not do -- especially in comparison with other, much better-known post-war US Presidents.